A love letter

It has been two years since I last updated my blog. Many things have happened. To briefly name a few... I toured Bali in Dec 2010... went for National Service from Jan to March 2011... started college in April 2011... got my driving licence in June... lost a substantial abount of fat (and gained muscles)... I would like to start my blog this year by giving tribute to my mother by sharing a letter that I wrote to her last year on Mother's Day.

Dear mum...

If I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, a lifetime wouldn't be enough for me to say it. You have done so many things for me that sometimes I even forget or overlook the little sacrifices you are still making for me. During my time in National Service, there was one class session about being thankful to your parents. We were all given a letter fold envelope to write to our parents or whoever we feel thankful to and of course the letter was written to you. This was the only time in NS when I actually cried (besides Tora's disappearance) and as I wrote the letter, I began to realize how much you have done for me and how little I have done in return.

If somebody were to ask me to describe my mother, I would describe you as cheerful, easy going, kind, loving and so much more. But the other part of my mother which so few people see and know is her strong will, her bravery, her willingness and the amount of love she has for her children. I have never really thanked you for being such a strong woman for our family before. Today, I want to truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for not giving up on Debbie and me during the absence of dad, leaving you to raise us alone. It must have been a very difficult journey filled with pain and sorrow, but thank you for loving us enough to pull through. There isn't any mother out there whom I can look upon with higher respect than my own mother. And when most of the boys claim their fathers as their role model, I have my mother as mine.

Everything I have now is all thanks to you and everything that I can be proud of, I have because of you. I am confident and speak well because I have a mother who taught me well. I can play all sorts of musical instruments because I have a mother who took the effort to send me for classes. I can dance because I have a mother who believed in giving the best she could in all aspects to her children. I can bowl because I have a mother who continues to trust in me even though I failed over and over again. I have moral values because I have a mother who believes in what she stands for. I have salvation because I have a mother who leads me spiritually. I have everything I have today because of my mother!

Even though in the future, I might not be able to give you a big house or flashy cars, I will always take care of you and give you the best I can. And just to let you know, although without having a father at my side, I still have a perfect family just as anyone else for I have a mum whose heart is big enough to carry both roles. Please do not ever feel sad that you couldn't give your children a perfect family because you did. I would never trade the amount of love you have given me for a father. And I am truly so blessed to have this opportunity of having someone as close to me as you!

I actually planned to write you a letter for a long time and decided to do it on Mother's day. Due to my heavy schedule these past few days, I kept procrastinating until I never got it done. I am sorry this is so last minute. I actually thought of postponing it to another year or another event but I really want you to know today. Please know that no matter what happens or whatever things that come into my life while growing up, nothing will be able to change how important you are to me and how much I love you. I'm sorry if I had made you feel any smaller in my life than you used to be through my actions but take note that nothing has changed. You will always hold the highest place in my life. This letter is merely the surface of how much I want to express my love and gratitude. Sometimes, words don't really matter… I'll let my actions prove it ;) I love you mum! Happy Mother's Day!!!

Water baptism

On 17 October 2010, I was baptized by Pastor Timothy at Calvary Church. It was a great experience and also a *wet* one... ;) I was the first to be baptized and I didn’t know what to expect when I stepped into the pool. Somehow things seemed so blurry and awkward. Everything happened so fast at that moment. Although I was briefed about the procedure, I was still caught off guard as I just couldn't brace myself for it. All in all, I had a good time and I'm happy that it is finally over and done with. May this declaration of faith brings greater things in my walk with Christ. Below is the testimony which I shared in one of the prayer meetings prior to my baptism... :)

"Being born in a Christian family, I was introduced to Christ at a very young age and although I can’t remember the exact date of accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour, I would think that by the age of seven, I would have already done so. Throughout my daily walk with God, He has never failed me and has continued touching my life in marvelous ways. Christ is EVERYTHING to me. He is my rock, my shelter, Father, friend and so much more. I am ever so grateful to Him"

God bless all of you... Take care~

A Pleasant Surprise...!

In my previous post, I stated that I was contemplating between two belts and eventually decided on the white one. Well, the very next day, my sister surprised me with the other belt as soon as I got into the car. Thank you so much sis... =)

Thank You Sis...

The title says it all…! This post is specially to thank my sister for being so generous =P As you can see, she got me a 212 Carolina Herrera perfume and an A|X belt. I appreciate her not because of the expensive items she bought for me but rather her willingness to spend such a hefty sum on me.

Let me tell you guys what happened when we were scouting for the right perfume. My previous bottle was CK In 2 U but this time I decided to try something different, perhaps Polo RL, Davidoff or Tommy H. Usually when one shops for perfume, it is advisable to smell 3 to 4 scents only but no… my mum, Debbie and I went round, smelling easily 10 different scents and ended up liking the coffee bean smell which seemed to be the freshest of them all =P (*those who shop for perfume would understand what I mean*)

Well, when I came upon the 212, I knew instantly that was perfect for me. My mum and sister also bought perfumes for themselves =P Next was choosing my belt. Well, this wasn’t as complicating as looking for the perfume for I just wanted a nice A|X belt but it took just as long because I was contemplating between two belts, a white and a black one. Finally, I went for the white one as it was more outstanding.

All in my sister spent RM554 just on me (RM255 for the perfume and RM299 for the belt) so I want to say "THANK YOU SIS...!" By the way, even if you were to get the things from “pasar malam”, say a RM20 belt and a nice smelling eraser, I would still love and appreciate you just as much…! ~Love you~

Choir Competition

The whole team was looking forward to the competition this year held on 30th April at SJKC Yuk Chai as we put in so much more effort than last year. I was the conductor for the choir this year and I was a little worried in the beginning but after some time I got the hang of it… thanks to friends for their help, including last year conductor (senior) who coincidentally is also the lead guitarist in my band. As we prepared to leave, we were all ready with only one thing in our minds… to win…!

When the competition began, our hopes started to sink lower and lower as the choir from both DJ and BU4 were really good. While listening to them, the hyped-up spirit in us slowly faded. Soon it was our turn as we were the third group to perform. We still tried our best and I conducted as dramatic as I could, hopefully without looking overly… erm… gay. Haha…

Although we kind of figured we could not win, we were still anxious to find out our position. Before they announced the rank of the schools, they gave out the prize for the best conductor first and to my surprise our school won. For a moment, I didn’t realize I had to go and take the prize. Hehe… Anyway our school got 4th. I'm glad that I managed to get the best conductor for the school so we need not go back empty handed. Praise God =)

Public Speaking Competition

(With Puan Wong and her daughter)

On 25th last month, I represented my school in the Public Speaking competition organized by Sunway college. It was my very first attempt and therefore I was pretty excited yet confident to a certain extent. While I was lying on my folded arms in the auditorium, waiting to be allocated into the respective rooms, I observed the surrounding closely and it was kind of freaky watching some of the contestants busy rehearsing their speeches. Somehow it reminded me of my primary years where I represented the school for story-telling competitions.

(With the other contestants in my group)

Apparently there were a total of 90 contestants and only 12 will be chosen to enter the semi-finals whereby another 6 for the finals. All the contestants were divided into smaller groups with only one judge and a time-keeper for each group. My group consisted of 8 contestants. This competition was different for unlike the usual procedure of a prepared speech of individual choice and a set speech for impromptu, Sunway College did the other way round with the topic “Lost” for the prepared speech while the impromptu speech was different for everyone. Well, all I can say is besides having a good exposure and experience, I’ve no regrets as I did the very best I knew how and the very best I could. Coincidentally, that was also the conclusion in my prepared speech as quoted by Abraham Lincoln =p

My mother

In my life, there are only two things which I’m willing to sacrifice for, that is God and my mother. Here are a few things about her...

Firstly, from the way some of my friends' mothers treat them seem so unloving when compared to the way my mum showers me with love. Secondly is her sense of forgiveness and kindness. For instance, she'll get upset for a while after being taken advantage of by her friends, but in a short period she forgives and forgets, even if it's the same person doing it over and over again. Thirdly is the amount of sacrifices she has made for my sister and me which I can never compensate enough, not even if it takes a life time.

Some of the things that she can do which leave me breathless time after time are her skills with the computer and camera. She can do things which I never thought was possible at her age (50+ years old). For example, handling Power Point and editing pictures in Photoshop. Now, with all the *chun* and sophisticated cameras, nice clear pictures can be taken easily.

My mum, on the other hand, has an average digital camera but takes captivating pictures. Each picture tells a story and it literally paints a thousand words… ~Wow~ deep… I know… =p She has an online gallery and she also writes beautifully. Her poems really touch one’s soul. Some of her poems are nominated for awards and published in poetry books for worldwide distribution. And yes, she even has her own blog…!

The most important part about her that places her as my role model is her relationship with God. The way she lives her life and handles situations in such a Christ-like manner amazes me. Her passion for doing God’s work all the more encourages me to serve as well. If someone were to ask me why is my mum so nice, caring and so on, I would proudly say with full of confidence that it is because of her intimate relationship with the Lord.

Well, this is just a summary of my wonderful mother! There is so much more but I can never finish writing, not even till my fingers hurt… =p Anyway, I just want her to know that I love her lots and that I will always be right here all the way for her. Love you lots mum and always will…!!! Muakz…

Stabbed in the back

While I took a break from studying for my exam tomorrow, I surfed through my friends’ blogs and was surprised to find one of my *so-called* closest friend whom I knew for 10 years, calling me names and telling lies about me for whatever reasons she alone knows. I can only conclude that it’s sad to defame anyone, what more friends, for self-glory or purely to seek attention.

What actually happened was when I went back to school on Wednesday, 25th Feb after an absence of 5 days (inclusive of Sat and Sun), our BM teacher, Puan Suriani changed the seating arrangement in our class with Abigail sitting next to me. I admit I do talk with my friends but it’s impossible for her not to be able to pay attention in class just because of me. Then how come I can still listen and understand what the teachers are teaching? How could she simply lash out her anger at me just because she's unhappy sitting at the back? And for that I’m being called a DEVIL…!

The next issue was about the BM assignment. She claimed that I pushed all the work to her and she did EVERYTHING. First of all, I did not ask her to do everything. Upon entering the class when the bell rang, I saw her jotting down just the points on a piece of “majong” paper. I offered to help but she turned me down as she was almost done so as a team, I volunteered to do the presentation. Just ask Puan Suriani or the whole class who was the one who presented the whole synopsis. The teacher even praised us and Abigail told me she thought we were one of the best. And now she is CLAIMING CREDIT FOR EVERYTHING. I really don’t mind but accusing me of doing nothing when I did put in my effort just isn't right.

Anyway this post is not to bring her down or to elevate myself. It’s just to clarify to my friends the misconception given by her. I’m really disappointed that while I considered her as a close friend, she actually stabbed my back without remorse… :(