It has been two years since I last updated my blog. Many things have happened. To briefly name a few... I toured Bali in Dec 2010... went for National Service from Jan to March 2011... started college in April 2011... got my driving licence in June... lost a substantial abount of fat (and gained muscles)... I would like to start my blog this year by giving tribute to my mother by sharing a letter that I wrote to her last year on Mother's Day.
If I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, a lifetime wouldn't be enough for me to say it. You have done so many things for me that sometimes I even forget or overlook the little sacrifices you are still making for me. During my time in National Service, there was one class session about being thankful to your parents. We were all given a letter fold envelope to write to our parents or whoever we feel thankful to and of course the letter was written to you. This was the only time in NS when I actually cried (besides Tora's disappearance) and as I wrote the letter, I began to realize how much you have done for me and how little I have done in return.
If somebody were to ask me to describe my mother, I would describe you as cheerful, easy going, kind, loving and so much more. But the other part of my mother which so few people see and know is her strong will, her bravery, her willingness and the amount of love she has for her children. I have never really thanked you for being such a strong woman for our family before. Today, I want to truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for not giving up on Debbie and me during the absence of dad, leaving you to raise us alone. It must have been a very difficult journey filled with pain and sorrow, but thank you for loving us enough to pull through. There isn't any mother out there whom I can look upon with higher respect than my own mother. And when most of the boys claim their fathers as their role model, I have my mother as mine.
Everything I have now is all thanks to you and everything that I can be proud of, I have because of you. I am confident and speak well because I have a mother who taught me well. I can play all sorts of musical instruments because I have a mother who took the effort to send me for classes. I can dance because I have a mother who believed in giving the best she could in all aspects to her children. I can bowl because I have a mother who continues to trust in me even though I failed over and over again. I have moral values because I have a mother who believes in what she stands for. I have salvation because I have a mother who leads me spiritually. I have everything I have today because of my mother!
Even though in the future, I might not be able to give you a big house or flashy cars, I will always take care of you and give you the best I can. And just to let you know, although without having a father at my side, I still have a perfect family just as anyone else for I have a mum whose heart is big enough to carry both roles. Please do not ever feel sad that you couldn't give your children a perfect family because you did. I would never trade the amount of love you have given me for a father. And I am truly so blessed to have this opportunity of having someone as close to me as you!
I actually planned to write you a letter for a long time and decided to do it on Mother's day. Due to my heavy schedule these past few days, I kept procrastinating until I never got it done. I am sorry this is so last minute. I actually thought of postponing it to another year or another event but I really want you to know today. Please know that no matter what happens or whatever things that come into my life while growing up, nothing will be able to change how important you are to me and how much I love you. I'm sorry if I had made you feel any smaller in my life than you used to be through my actions but take note that nothing has changed. You will always hold the highest place in my life. This letter is merely the surface of how much I want to express my love and gratitude. Sometimes, words don't really matter… I'll let my actions prove it ;) I love you mum! Happy Mother's Day!!!